Grief Observed.

In the first and second chapters of a Grief Observed they completely struck me. I see that C.S. Lewis is up and down with his emotions with the fact that his wife has just passed away. I can understand why he feels the way that he does. Just losing my uncle a month ago, I feel that I have questioned God. I have wondered why me. I have also wondered a lot about what Lewis talks about in chapter two. He questions Christian’s faith, and he wonders where exactly you go when you pass from this Earth. It is like a Christian you have so much faith in what comes after this life, but in reality we really do not know what comes after this life. What we are to expect? I guess this shows our faith in Christ to trust what happens to us after this life is over. C.S. Lewis was right when he stated that it is not bad for those who leaves this Earth but it is bad for those who are left behind. I find this true since my Uncle just passed away. I felt myself happy because I knew that he was free of pain and that he was in a better place, but it is just awful that I have to go on with my life without him. And just like in chapter four when Lewis said that he was forgetting the image his wife. I see it this way. When I left the hospital after my uncle passed I just remember driving my car and looking at the world around me. Everything was still going on, life still goes on. Even though right at that moment my life was in devastation, everything else was still going on around me. It has only been a month since my uncle passed away and the image of him is still with me, but I know as time goes on not seeing his face will soon fade. It is a sad thing to think about but I go on with my life knowing that he is in a better place and he is free of pain. C.S. Lewis is so deep and makes me think the more and more I read, and I begin to see my emotions in a different way and I like to see his emotions and what he feels about not only faith but death too.

After prayers, lie cold.

This is the poem that I brought to class today to share in my group...

After Prayers, Lie Cold

by, C.S. Lewis

Arise my body, my small body, we have striven
Enough, and He is merciful; we are forgiven.
Arise small body, puppet-like and pale, and go,
White as the bed-clothes into bed, and cold as snow,
Undress with small, cold fingers and put out the light,
And be alone, hush'd mortal, in the sacred night,
-A meadow whipt flat with the rain, a cup
Emptied and clean, a garment washed and folded up,
Faded in colour, thinned almost to raggedness
By dirt and by the washing of that dirtiness.
Be not too quickly warm again. Lie cold; consent
To weariness' and pardon's watery element.
Drink up the bitter water, breathe the chilly death;
Soon enough comes the riot of our blood and breath.

I don't know what it is about this poem, but it really touches my heart. My mother read this poem to me when I was in High School and I was feeling as though God could not hear me when I prayed. Although I see this poem in a different light than I did when I was younger, I still can pick things out of it and interpret it differently each time I read it. At the beginning of this poem C.S Lewis is on fire with God, and shows how through Christ and prayer we are forgiven. I hold this all to me true. Prayer is such a simple, yet powerful thing. I feel that at the beginning of this poem C.S. Lewis is telling the reader to get into prayer... and inclose yourself in however you need to become close with God and get his guidance. Prayer is something so meaningful that it can turn so much around for you.. so much as your faith to your life. But then in a change of pass C.S. Lewis totally throws the poem for a loop. From going to such a strong opening to now making prayer and people seem so lifeless. When he states that "arise small body, puppet like and pale..." It makes me think that we are just going with the motions of this world and not really getting what God intended for us to get out of it. There is only so much that God can do as our father, but we have to meet him half way. It is as though prayer stopped within the poem, and without it the body became frail and lifeless among the Earth. It then states about becoming cleansed and new, and I see this as Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. Because we are all sinners, we sin every day... and there is no changing that. We can only better ourselves. We get so wrapped up in other things that we tend to forget why we are washed cleaned, and how is it that those stains are removed for us. It was all because of Jesus Christ. I think this poem also relates to death and to life. It could be like people that have prayer in their lives... actually choose life... but those who do not have it or Christ have chosen death. This I see to be true... if you just look at a person's life who has Christ opposed to one that doesn't there is quite a difference in the type of life and level of happiness each has. This poem can be interpreted numerous other ways... but this is just my thought on it ! :))

Happy Endings

This is such an ironic title for this type of story... there were no happy endings !!! I do not necessarily believe in happy endings... I believe more in happy right now. It seems much more logical when it comes down to it. In this literature text it just showed that you can interpret a happy ending to whatever you want it to be. Happy is whatever you make it. Happiness and love is different to every person. This text just showed reality. What do people usually read texts for? For a happy ending right...? Well.. a happy ending that does not seem real. I mean we as girls are set up for a happy ending at a young age. We still hope for prince charming, don't we ? It seems so real to us.. and one day we will find that. But in society is that all real life, will there be no struggles, and when you're down in the dumps will prince charming rescue you on his horse. No, this is not reality... its a mere fairy tale that gets into our brains and makes us hope for things that are merely an illusion. However, taking your life and enjoying it to its fullest and helping others along the way could in fact be your happy ending. Everyone's ideal happy ending could be totally different. I just feel that reality is not a happy ending... or at least not the type of happy ending that the movies portray. If like were like the movies and every ending was happy then we wouldn't have the sadness and sorrow that we do.

In this text it just shows reality. I know that some people may live in a bubble and think that none of these things happen, but it is REAL LIFE. People cheat, people lie, people are not perfect. We have to stop focusing on the happy ever after... and worry about the happy right now In the long run it will turn out to our advantage. Love ties into this sort of text because you see a woman just being with a man who is obviously using her to his advantage. I see this kind of behavior from men, and it makes me disgusted with them over all. And to think that a woman would just stay with a man because she has no self worth just blows my mind. Woman allow men to treat them this way, and therefore men feel that they can get away with it. If women didn't so passionately want that happy ending... would things be different? I believe so.

What We Talk about When we Talk about Love

"Say what you want to, but I know it was," Terri said. "It may sound crazy to you, but it's true just the same. People are different, Mel. Sure, sometimes he may have acted crazy. Okay. But he loved me. In his own way maybe, but he loved me. There was love there, Mel. Don't say there wasn't."

At the begging of this exert it really hit me to a different point. Of course I believe and see that Terri's lover was crazy and had problems that caused him to act in the manner he did, but it touches me because it is really sad. Just as Terri's lover killed himself, my grandfather did the same thing. And I completely understand that there are people that take their lives because they are simply misunderstood and mentally ill, and something triggers them and they end up taking their lives. It is such a sad thing to think about because when something is more powerful than you can over come and you end up taking your life because of it. It just breaks me heart, just like it did when I found out my grandfather had way before I was even born. My grandfather was not mentally ill, but did commit suicide because of love. I think that with some people like my grandfather, they long for this big huge word they have heard about all their lives and then they find it and it is taken from them in the blink of an eye and what they thought would last forever did the exact opposite. I know that this whole story was not just about this one phrase about love, and the suicide aspect of it. I just could I guess relate to what it was trying to say about Terri's ex lover. What a sad and tragic thing to not only be mentally ill and take your life, but to never really know love.

I also look at this exert in another way. The word love is a whole different meaning to a lot of people. One person's view on love can completely be different from another's. Love to some if showing it, and to others its just a word. It just depends on the person I think. In the text I see that Terri thought that even though her lover did things such as beat her and terrorize her she still knew that deep down he loved her. Or, with Mel and Laura. They try so hard to prove to Terri what love really is. With stories and opinions, but really do Mel and Laura really know what love is either.

I think a powerful statement in this text is, " What do any of us really know about love..?"

I do not think there is a more powerful statement. When do we actually fall in love? When do we find love... or when does love find us? Is there a certain age where we fall in love... or is there no falling or just love. I do not think anyone can really answer that question. I think it all has to do with the personal experiences and how someone views such a thing as love, and or being in love. Love to me is a funny thing, because so many different people view it differently. But something as simple as love, you think it wouldn't have to be so complicating, but it ends up being that way. If people just started listening to their own hearts and minds about what they think and truly feel about love they would not need the opinion of others to suffice them.

I enjoyed this text because it showed the different views of love and what others thought of it. It got me thinking about what I really think about love and how I view it as a person.

My earliest memories of literature were when I was in Kindergarten and every night my parents would let me choose out of this huge book of stories what I wanted to hear before bed time. This book included bed time stories, nursery rhymes, and everything that would pertain to a child of that age. My most recent memories of literature would be when I was taking my humanities class last year. We looked at literature in a whole other way in forms of art, song, and writing. This gave me a greater appreciation and understanding of literature as a whole. The most significant text I can say that I have read (even if it does sound cliche) is the Bible. There is no other text or piece of work with more meaning to me. Literature matters because is keeps society going, and it helps us to grow in every day life. If we aren't growing and learning then what really is our point. It does not matter in the ways of tabloids and press, because that is not a way to really be making literature count in your every day life for something.